'You live for yourself': Phyllis Quek's take on life made her seem cold and distant to others

Her demeanour may have denoted a cold and distant austerity, but Phyllis Quek was just trying to get by with her own world view.

On the latest episode of the Mediacorp talk show Hear U Out, Phyllis revealed that her neutral and muted response to others wasn't because she was frigid and unfriendly, but that she didn't have the focus to spare on other things.

Phyllis, 50, was asked by host Quan Yi Fong about the most absurd, bold or incorrect thing that the former had done in their career or if she's ever hated someone to a great extent, to which Phyllis replied that she's experienced nothing of the sort.

"I don't generally react strongly to people … [These things are] not worth letting them affect you," she said. "You live for yourself."

But her aversion to reaction also gave her an air of unapproachability, Yi Fong said, describing her as appearing unique, temperamental and mysterious.

Agreeing with her, Phyllis added that a producer had told her the same thing — that she seemed very cold.

Explained Phyllis: "Perhaps all my focus was on filming — I was facing pressure from filming, from myself and from external sources such as the media. I felt that I had enough [to worry about]."

She also claimed that she never worried about what her other colleagues or co-workers thought about her. Instead, what mattered was what the audience thought of her.

Phyllis also mentioned that the criticism she received was something that she would put through a filter.

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"You have to make a decision for yourself. Of course, I accept constructive suggestions and do some self-reflection, but if the advice is bad, I'll naturally ignore it."

Yi Fong also raised a past experience that Phyllis had where a viewer of a show that Phyllis acted in kept sending hate mail to her.

Phyllis said: "He wrote some nasty things… I can't say they didn't bother me. Of course I was affected, but I had to continue filming. What else could I do?"

Admitting that it was a struggle for her, she also expressed gratitude towards some friends of hers that have stuck with her since secondary school and lent a listening ear to her troubles.

Addressing why she chooses not confront those that have wronged her, Phyllis said: "I can't please everyone.

"I have my own stress to cope with, I have my own issues to deal with, how could I possibly worry about so many other things? I'm not an octopus (referring to multitasking), I would go crazy."

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khooyihang@asiaone.com

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