First time using dating apps? Here's how to navigate them

It's 2023 and Singaporeans are turning to dating apps to find love more than ever. Gone are the days when the phrase "dating app" is met with an eyebrow raise or judgmental look.

As someone who has been on one of these apps, I learned the hard way about the dos and don'ts, but eventually found my way to my husband (after 50 dates, yep). But you don't have to make small talk that many times, because we'll show you how to swipe your way into someone's heart.

Work on that bio

You might think that keeping it short and simple gives off that chill vibe but chances are, your bio might look like a cookie-cutter description to someone who has gone through hundreds of profiles. Another carpe diem quote or MBTI personality reference? No thank you.

Stand out among the masses by crafting a bio that's uniquely you and let your voice really sing in those words. Don't just copy something from ChatGPT either — you'll end up with a soulless essay on your "sparkling personality".

Wow that potential special someone with genuine, heartfelt words about yourself, and be sure to insert actual fun facts (these make for great conversation). Bonus tip: Get a trusted friend to give it a once-over or ask them what your green flags are.

Avoid over-swiping or over-matching

Sure, those first few rounds of swiping and getting a match can be a real boost for your self-esteem, but before you know it, you might end up with too many matches for your own good.

Trust me, juggling more than 10 matches at the same time is the epitome of I just cannot. You might end up neglecting someone who could be your potential life partner and then the connection fizzes out. After getting a few matches, put the swiping on pause and concentrate on getting to know your existing matches first.

Spot those red flags 

Don't be the type to go "in hindsight, I should have seen that coming…" It may take some practice to be able to develop a trusty red flag radar, but we got chu, fam.

You should be looking out for some of these common red flags:

• They have no online or social media presence at all. While some people choose to be inactive on social media for various reasons, it would be incredibly sus not to have an online trace of oneself in this day and age. Smells like a catfish.
• They're always replying at a certain timing (and odd one too) such as on weekdays during working hours only, or once a week for a few hours. This could be indicative of a double life whereby the other party only gets the space/time during certain hours to misrepresent that they're single and ready to mingle. Of course, there are other possibilities such as shift-based work, so do ask.
• They're extremely reluctant to reveal any personal details or are overly secretive.
• They're inconsistent in what they say. If they've fibbed once to you, who's to say how many of their stories are fictional?

Ladies, you can make the first move too

We're now in 2023 and not in the 1950s when women were expected to have zero opinions and only look dainty. So, there's no good reason why girls can't initiate a conversation after a match instead of glancing at our phone every few minutes to check if that hot guy has messaged us.

Keep the conversation engaging

Ever chanced upon one of those endless streams of "Hi, how was your day?" messages, only for the conversation to die off shortly after? Yep, that happened to me, and despite my best intentions at maintaining the convo, eventually it became such a chore that I gave up.

Keep the conversation flowing by asking meaningful questions, such as something they mentioned they were gonna do, or by diving deeper into their interests. Before you send a question, ask yourself if it will invite a one-liner reply with minimal chance of a follow up.

Your connection can end sooner than expected with just one instance of boring convo. Remember, you're competing for that person's attention along with countless others.

Meeting for the first time? Choose a public setting

There is absolutely no good reason that the first date has to be in someone's house. Keep it safe by agreeing to meet in a public place such as a cafe, restaurant or even the park. This also allows you to leave quickly and easily if the date goes south or things become uncomfortable for you. Uh-huh, there are some creeps out there who are not shy about inviting you straight to their place on a first date.

Bonus tip: Still feeling the nerves about meeting a complete stranger one-on-one? Bring a close friend along and have them sit nearby so that they keep an eye on you and (secretly) cheer you on.

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This article was first published in Wonderwall.sg.